Big Brother, Big Boy!

This backyardigans guitar is one of his newest toys. We have been having fun with it too. David is bringing us lots of smiles and I am so thankful to have him. Without him things would be even more difficult then they currently are. Jonathan went back to work yesterday even though we weren't ready. We just haven't had enough time to let things sink in, adjust, and begin to heal. Life tends to feel like a big dream (not a nice dream) but one that we are waiting to wake up from and have Noah back with us.
Believe it or not this table is out "computer chair" since our computer sits on Jonathan's dresser. David has taken to playing under it while mommy blogs and checks her e-mail. He has grown a lot in the last month. He partly seems bigger because Noah was so little and he's also been growing into the roll of a big brother. He is using more words and talking more in general. Mainly he says "No" and "Oh, Oh!" but he is also making little sentences like "more juice", "I do it"and "what is it?" This makes discovering what he wants much easier... it is also just very cute.

A Poem Writen by Aunty Myrna

Dear Mom and Dad,

I was conceived out of your love
God sent me down from up above
A brother for David, your son
Who was your firstborn, perfect one

The doctors said I was not right
That many problems lay in sight
But you knew I was God's creation
You let me Live, thus my salvation

Your waiting time was agony
What lay ahead, how would I be?
You chose to carry me to term
My right to live you guarded firm

And knowing that you wanted me
Was what made me survive, you see
I came to visit you a while
I felt your love and saw your smiles

Be not sad that I am gone
For I am perfect with our Holy One
My time was short, but I felt your love
Now I watch you from above

Love Noah

Our Words from Today

Today we celebrate the life of our sweet sweet baby Noah. Noah was here with us only for a short time but in that time we have known so much love and he has touched so many hearts.
Noah, today we bring you 28 white roses in remembrance of the 28 beautiful days you gave us. We love you Baby.


Holding You Close

Holding you close for your first breath
So thankful to hear your first squawk
Overjoyed you have come to meet us
Twelve fingers, twelve toes
So much of you to love
Mama’s curls and Daddy’s blue eyes
Wrap you up tight
But leave your arms out the way you like it

Holding you close in a cuddle
Taking our miracle home
More proud then two parents could be
Kissing your sweet smiles
The sparkle in your eyes fills our hearts
You’ve brought us so much love
Wrap you up tight
But leave your arms out the way you like it

Holding you close for your last breath
My tears washing your brown hair
Kissing you softly over and over
Singing one last lullaby
Holding your hands until you let go
Time to say good, ‘till we see you again
Wrap you up tight
But leave your arms out the way you like it

Poem by Melissa Neufeld

From Mama & Daddy
(Melissa)
Noah has truly been our gift from God and we are honored that we were chosen to be his parents. We often use “bundle of joy” to describe a baby and that is exactly what Noah was to us. He was JOY wrapped up tight in a soft blanket. We shared so many wonderful moments with our son and have made beautiful memories which will fill our hearts forever. Some of our favorite times were spent singing him lullaby’s, rocking him softly, kissing his head, smelling his hair, seeing him turn to the sound of our voices, looking into his eyes as he stared back up at us, and cuddling him close all night long every night of his life.
(Jonathan)
We now have a fuller understanding of the phrase "bitter sweet." Sweet because we know that Noah is with our heavenly Father, bitter because we miss him so much and wish we could still hold him. We can't begin to describe what Noah's life has meant to us or the heartache we feel at the loss of our baby boy.
(Melissa)
Though Noah was here only a short time he has touched so many hearts. His only words were coo's and squawk's but his life has spoken volumes. Even before we heard his first cry we knew God had performed a miracle. God's miracles didn't stop with Noah's first breath, they continued as he exceeded medical odds, surpassed statistics, and enjoyed four weeks of complete health.
(Jonathan)
After Noah was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 our hopes for our baby changed. We hoped we would be able to meet him before he went to heaven, we hoped he wouldn't need to be hooked up to oxygen or feeding tubes, and we hoped most of all that he wouldn't know sickness, pain, or suffering when it was time for God to take him home. All of these hopes we prayed and all of our prayers were answered.

Each night we prayed for one more day with Noah and God answered our prayers for four amazing weeks. Though we did not know it at the time Thursday was Noah’s last day with us. Letting go was the most difficult thing we have ever had to do but we knew God was calling him home to heaven. We are very thankful for the gift of Noah's Life. We love him so much and miss him so deeply. We will cherish him in our hearts forever and look forward to one day being with him in heaven, though we would always have asked for one more day.


Today we had a celebration in remembrance of Noah and the 28 beautiful days we spent together. I just wanted to post our words from today for those who were not able to attend or for anyone who would like to read them again. His celebration also consisted of 2 slide shows and four beautiful songs as well as a prayer from Grandpa Rob and message from pastor Frank. Thank you so much to everyone who celebrated with us and to all those who continue to share in our sadness. Special thanks to everyone who participated today whether in the ceremony or with preparations. Big thanks to everyone who have made donations in honor and memory of Noah's life. And most of all thanks to everyone for your prayers and support. It has been special for us to read through your cards and admire the flowers that have been sent... they remind us you are keeping us in your thoughts.

Celebrating Noah

We will be celebrating Noah's Life

Monday, March 10th, 2008
Two Oclock
Bethany Baptist Church
22680 Westminster Hwy
Richmond, British Columbia
There will be refreshments following the service.

If you wish to make a donation in honor of Noah
please consider
Canucks Place
&
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Our Angel's In Heaven

Noah Jonathan Neufeld
February 8 - March 6, 2008
7:25PM

We love you Noah!

Canucks Place

Last night Noah had his first "episode" where he stoped breathing. It didn't last long but it was enough to scare Grandpa Rob (who was holding him) and everyone else as well. Until yesterday life with Noah was very much the same as life with any newborn baby. He loves being held, is very attentive... looking for sounds and voices when he hears them and is just in general a healthy, loving little guy.

Yesterday our world was shaken knowing our little boy has begun to experience symptoms. We had an appointment with Noah's pediatrician today and it went well. He weighs 7lbs 6oz.

I had begun writing the above when Noah had another episode. Before I could finish and post we were in a rush to pack and take him to Canucks Place where they could help us with his breathing. We were intending to go tomorrow but it became urgent and so off we went. I have a link on our blog for Canucks Place for anyone who would like to know more... today was their annual telethon.

He's My Brother

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother -Written by B. Scott and B. Russell

The road is long

With many a winding turn

That leads us to who knows where

Who knows when

But I'm strong

Strong enough to carry him

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go

His welfare is of my concern

No burden is he to bear

We'll get there

For I know

He would not encumber me

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all

I'm laden with sadness

That everyone's heart

Isn't filled with the gladness

Of love for one another

It's a long, long road

From which there is no return

While we're on the way to there

Why not share

And the load

Doesn't weigh me down at all

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He's my brother

He ain't heavy, he's my brother...

Some of you recognise this song from the 70's... some of you recognise it from the 80's when it played during an anti-drug campaign commercial (that's probably where I first heard it). Read through the lyrics, it's a beautiful song.

During my pregnancy I wondered if I was having a boy or a girl. I wanted a little girl so that I had one of each and I wanted a little boy so that David and his brother would be close in age like my dad and his brother (my Uncle Ches). I hoped like any mother hopes that they would be best friends.

We found out Noah was a boy shortly after they told us our baby was very sick, not likely to survive. After receiving the details of Noah's suspected diagnosis I began to grieve for my baby boy. I also became immensely worried of what we would do should our baby boy survive. How would we take care of him? What would it mean for David? The first few days after we first heard the words "trisomy 13" two questions repeated in my mind.

1. What will I do if he doesn't make it?

2. What will I do if he does?

I was very ashamed that it was the second of the two questions that plagued me most.

Taking a picture of my two sons today and wondering again how we will all be touched by Noah's life this song came to my mind and I know you can apply the words to all of us who love Noah...

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

He ain't heavy, he's my grandson

He ain't heavy, he's my nephew

He ain't heavy, he's my baby

Look Alike?

I have been telling everyone how much Noah looks like me but I haven't been able to find my new born picture so my mom e-mailed it to me and here it is. Keeping in mind that he has Jonathan's nose and he weighed 1 1/2 lbs more then me at birth here is a comparison. I couldn't find a picture that I thought really matched but just from looking at him he reminds me of me. This is nice since everyone is always commenting on how much David looks like Jonathan. One things for sure... David has my brown eyes (I know they aren't that dark anymore but they were when I was his age) and Noah has Jonathan's blue eyes!

20 Months and 3 Weeks

It's not everyday (or every year for that matter) one gets to blog on February 29th and I couldn't miss the opportunity to wish my sons "happy birthdays!" David is 20 months today and Noah is 3 weeks. They both went to the doctor yesterday. David is over 25 lbs and Noah weighed 7lbs 3 oz. David braved 2 needles and Noah has grown 1/2 inch. We are loving every minute we spend with our boys, even when it means getting little sleep. Hope you like the new pictures of our two cutie pie's. We are so proud of our two little men.

To My Pregnant Pals

I am very excited to have quite a few women close to my heart currently experiencing their first pregnancies. Some close to my heart are experiencing second pregnancies too but this applies more for the first time moms-to-be. I have been thinking about a few things I realized after I became a mom which would be helpful to know before hand... things to consider anyway...

1. Buy a double stroller! If you are planning to have more then one baby and especially if you want your kids close together this is way more convenient. Don't get a wide on as the single ones are hard enough to shop with. They have really nice ones where you can turn the front seat either forward or facing the back. Even before baby number 2 arrives this will be helpful for getting together with other moms and if you do any babysitting! There are lots of good options that don't cost much more then a single stroller.

2. Don't get a hand held pump. Even if you are only planning to use it for a few evenings out electric pumps are worth the extra money! They are great for helping with engorgement when baby first arrives too... and getting your milk established. I now have a "medela" which everyone tells me is the best brand... it's the one Women's hospital uses so I would recommend that.

3. Neutral clothing is great! I wanted to have baby showers after David arrived so that I could have outfits specific to boy or girl but I was later thankful for the neutral stuff I received as it will be great if we have a girl at some point too. You will get lots of gender specific clothes as well. Jackets, snow suits and bedding are best kept neutral anyway.

4. This is more of a personal opinion and some moms may disagree but I found it was much nicer having a summer baby (and being pregnant in all the heat) then having a winter baby. After my pregnancy with David I was glad not to be delivering at the end of June second time around but I found it was more difficult being huge in the winter. In the summer you can wear flip flops and minimal clothing. In the winter you are stuck bundled up with shoes that are too tight and a jacket that no longer zips up!

5. Take advantage of the extra time you have before baby arrives (for those who don't work until full term) and freeze, freeze, freeze (extra meals that is). This time has been great having Jonathan's parents and sister around but with David it was very difficult to keep on top of everything and find things to eat (and time to cook)... plus your husband will still be hungry when he comes home from work and he will be tired too!

6. Breast feeding saves so much time! Not only is it the best option for you and your baby it makes life a lot easier. I am having to pump to give Noah breast milk because he isn't quite strong enough to breastfeed. With this comes the responsibility of washing and sterilizing bottles (and the added time of pumping). It was much easier to just stick David on the boob whenever he cried (especially during the middle of the night) then it is to deal with bottles.

7. Take lots of pregnancy pictures and if you are considering professional pictures do it with your first pregnancy before you have stretch marks.

Okay, this is getting long and I am running out of advise but I have just had it on my mind to share these bits of information and since I know so many pregnant mama's it is easier to blog my suggestions then to speak to everyone individually (plus I will forget). And this way I thought other mom's could leave comments with their suggestions and even let me know if they think what I have concluded will be helpful.

Enjoy this wonderful baby growing time!

Noah's First Walk

Happy 2 week Birthday Noah!

This morning when I woke up I sang "Happy Birthday" to Noah. We are so thankful to be celebrating 2 weeks. Noah is growing and his cry is getting louder, if I don't get his bottle fast enough in the middle of the night he wakes up David with his crying. One of our favorite things to do with Noah is just hold him and look at him. The great part is he looks back, maintains eye contact and really studies you. He is such a bundle of love.

David's Hair Cut

David got his second hair cut today so I thought I should post some before and after pictures. He didn't cry this time but he did refuse to wear the cape. Later when he wouldn't stop wiggling the hairdresser had him sit on my lap. He took my cape off too so we both had hair all over our clothes.

I can dress Myself...

Here is our little climber enjoying the new shelves Papa made us before we hung them on the wall.

Happy Valentines Day! David enjoyed this rose from Auntie Lauren until there were petals all over the floor. He did let mommy have a smell before he destroyed it.
"Little Man of the House" is what David's latest shirt from Grammy says. So cute!
Yesteday David and Daddy played outside while Mommy naped with Noah. David wouldn't come in until Daddy agreed that the rock could come inside too.
Yesteday we had spaghetti... or spaghetti had us?
Here is the proof of my newest update. David is starting to dress himself. He has been putting on his own socks for about a week and yesterday he got his leg into his pj's and into Daddy's underwear which happened to be on the floor. Any clothes he finds he uses to practice and he gets very frustrated if it's not doing what he wants. Our little man is growing up.

Pediatrician

Today we went to Children’s Hospital and met with Noah’s Pediatrician. Noah’s saturation level continues to be good, he is now back up to his birth weight, and his jaundice is almost gone. The pediatrician explained to us a bit more about Noah’s heart condition and how it might affect his lungs. All babies have a lot of pressure in their longs before they are born up until 4-6 weeks after birth. Since Noah has a hole in his heart when this pressure drops he will likely experience more symptoms. The oxygenated blood will mix more with the blood that has little oxygen and his lungs are likely get a build up of fluid. There are two different medicines we would consider giving Noah at this point to make him more comfortable as all of this makes breathing more difficult which in turn makes everything more difficult, including feeding. We are so glad that Noah is currently healthy and not experiencing any discomfort. We are very happy to be able to enjoy him and even the doctor said he can’t predict how long Noah will remain symptom-less but we wanted to share what is expected in only a few more weeks so that everyone is up to date. Please keep Noah in your prayers and us as well.

Sweet Sweet Baby

Many of you have been letting us know how touched you were by Jane's slideshow of Noah and the song she chose. I thought I would post the lyrics, song by Michelle Featherstone. We are continuing to enjoy our sweet sweet baby and he is continuing to do well.

Sweet sweet baby I said maybe
Maybe you should stay with me
Sweet sweet baby I think maybe
Maybe you shouldn’t leave

Sweet sweet baby I go crazy
Crazy when I think of you
Sweet sweet baby I go crazy
If I can’t cuddle up to you

So baby, oh, baby
Please don’t go
Yeah, baby
Oh, sweet baby
Please don’t go

You’re the only one
You’re the only one
You’re the only one
For me

Sweet sweet baby Can you save me?
Save me from a night without you
Sweet sweet baby
Can this save me?
The way that I am going to save you

So baby, oh, baby
Please don’t go
Yeah baby
Oh, sweet baby

You’re the only one
You’re the only one
You’re the only one
For me

You’re the only one
Yeah, the only one
You’re the only one
For me

Michelle Featherstone

Happy 1 week Birthday Noah!

Noah is one week old today. I am finding that hard to believe. The time has gone by really fast, we are definately enjoying having him at home. Everyday he is eatting a little bit more, opening his eyes more and having more awake time. He even sucks his thumb once an a while. It is a joy having our newborn boy to hold. These pictures were taken by Jane aswell. If you havn't checked out the slideshow she made visit Sunday's post and do so... it is amazing.

Happy One Week Birthday Son. We love you so much!

Noah's Heart

Yesterday we went to Children's Hospital to have some tests done on Noah's heart. Originally in our 21 week ultrasound they suspected that he had "Tetralogy of Fallot", this was confirmed yesterday. The good news is that though he has this congenital heart defect (common in Trisomy 13) it is not currently affecting his body. The case with this heart problem is that it tends to get worse as you get older but in a Trisomy 13 baby it is unlikely to be the cause of death. We were very happy to hear that Noah's heart (despite the diagnosis) is currently functioning well. We will pray that this will continue to be the case. At any rate the cardiologist does not predict that Noah will have any "blue spells" caused by this defect any time soon. He is prepared to see him again in a few months time should God bless us with a few more months. Noah continues to beat all the odds and we are just extremely happy that he is not in any pain and is not currently experiencing any symptoms or side effects associated with his diagnosis.

Labour of Love

I thought I would share a bit of my labour story for those I haven't had a chance to talk to. We were very thankful to have a natural delivery after having to have a c-section with David. I shared in earlier posts that I had a lot of false labour. Thursday night was no exception to that but little did I know it would turn into the real thing. I spent Friday morning wondering if it might be labour but mostly assuming that it was more false labour. After lunch I phoned the doctor to see what she thought and she said to give it some more time but that it probably was labour. I phoned Jonathan and he decided to come home from work a bit early. That ended up being good because by the time he got home the pain was much worse and I was starting to think we should go to the hospital. By the time Jon had a shower and we got a few things ready we were in a bit of a panic to get out the door. On the way to the hospital my contractions were only 2 minutes apart. We arrived at the hospital around 3pm and by the time we filled out the paper work and they got us a bed in assesment I was 8cm dialated and starting to feel a lot of pressure. They got me a room fairly quickly, checked my again and I had reached 10cm.
I started using some gas for the pain once I got to my room and was pushing in no time. My water still hadn't broken so after 30-60 minutes of pushing the doctor broke my water. As always that made the pain worse and I believe I said "give me drugs now" or something along those lines. They wanted to try without anything since Noah was almost born but I was so overwhelmed. They started an IV and gave me a small dose of fentenol which was just enough to get me to push more effectively. Before the fentenol I was fighting my body which was pushing on its own anyway. Once I realized Noah was almost here I was able to give a few good pushes and he was out in no time. Pushing took in total an hour and a half which isn't too bad for a first delivery. My throat was sore from screaming but everyone said I did great job. I am thankful that it went quicky and that we had a sucessful v-back. If anyone wants full details just ask but I thought I would write a blog friendly version. *smile*

Brotherly Love

Yesterday when I lay Noah down on our bed David showed his first real interest in his baby brother. He approached Noah on his own and just leaned over him and started talking away. As you can see from the photo Jonathan captured it was so cute! It has been a difficult adjustment for him not having mom and dad around and then having everyone paying attention to Noah but everyday we are noticing that David is more comfortable. We love our two little men and look forward to more moments of brotherly love.
Daddy and his boys before we left the hospital on Sunday.

Welcoming Noah

Words cannot express the gratitude in our hearts for the memories captured in these pictures taken during Noah's first hours.

Thank you Jane for the amazing photographs, and the time and effort you put into them, as well as thanks to NILMDTS for making this possible.

The following is a post done to welcome Noah on Janes blog.
http://janephoto.blogspot.com/2008/02/welcome-welcome-noah-jonathan.html

Click here for an unforgottable slideshow that Jane has created.
http://bigfolio.textdrive.com/~jhamilton/slideshows/Welcome,NoahJonathan/

Thank you all for your constant prayers, we will post more soon.

Our Miracle

Noah
Jonathan

"Peace"
"Given by God"

Born

February 8th, 2008

@5:24pm

weight: 6lbs,8oz

length: 20 inches

BC Women's Hospital, Vancouver

36 Weeks... Braxton Hicks

Yes, I am still pregnant! At our Doctor's apointment on Wednesday we found out that I am 2-3 cm dialated so all that false labouring hasn't been in vain. I was 3 cm dialated before my labour began with David too... it doesn't really give an indication that we will be going into labour soon but we are anticipating a February baby forsure. The more "painless" dialating I can do before labour begins the better.


Late last night I started having more cramping and back ach which I initialy assumed was more "false" or "pre-labour." It did intensify and was more painful then last Saturday (though still very easy to manage). Then I started having contractions which felt like the real thing and they were between 3-7 minutes apart. At this point I was very certain I must be in labour. But by 3am I was able to fall asleep and when I woke up the contractions had stoped. I am still feeling some back ach and more pressure then before which could mean that Noah's head has moved down. So the contractions I was having turned out to be "braxton hicks" though I honestly couldn't tell the difference.

We are really hoping not to go into labour this Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday as my friend Christina (who is a labour/delivery nurse at Women's Hospital) is planing to be with us for my labour and is away during these next 4 days. Regardless Noah will come when he is ready but lets just say I won't be going for any long walks, drinking rasberry leaf tea, taking castor oil, doing jumping jacks or anthing like that... I am even thinking about making Jonathan sleep on the couch until Saturday (*smile*). I am so glad that February is here! And we are very much excited for Noah's arrival. With every possible labour symptom I have I am anticipating the real thing.

I want to thank everyone again for your continued support and prayers. Special thanks to those who are continuing to pray for a miracle. We don't know what God has planned for Noah but we do know that anything is possible. We are prepared to say good-bye to our little boy (as prepared as any parent can possibly be to say good-bye to their beloved child) but until that moment arrives we will never give up hope. In the mean time we anticipate meeting him, holding him, hugging him and kissing him for how ever long God gives us.

19 Months

Jonathan worked the early shift today so it was almost like having a day off. We took David into the back yard to play and as soon as he noticed daddy adding to his rock tower he wanted to help. He was trying very hard to pick up an enormous rock and bring it to Jon... so cute. In the end David got to add the final touch. We are so glad that Spring is on it's way and can't wait to enjoy the outdoors in some warmer weather.

David loves snow. He will watch it from the window in amazement and he occasionally gets to play in it too. We now have a proper pair of snow pants and water proof gloves for him so if it snows again he can play outside longer.
Last week David started falling asleep on his own for naps. This particular day Daddy was cleaning the bathroom and David wanted in. While he was waiting he fell asleep in the hallway. Since then he has put himself to bed a few times on our bed.
And he hasn't been getting much use out of his potty yet, except for play. When things settle down after Noah's birth we plan on working on potty training.
He now says 7 words... dad, mom, please, yes, what this? (and) go. He actually says a lot more then 7 words but these are the ones we can make out on a regular basis.