David Brent Robert

Last night David was whining while I was trying to clean up so I decided to let him help me with the dishes. As soon as I put him on the counter he was happy. He ate a few suds and had a great time helping mommy... he didn't even make a mess which was nice.
David had whipping cream twice in the last week and a half. First when his friend Natalie came for a play date (we had waffles, strawberries and whipping cream) and then when daddy made cream puffs for bible study snack. He loves whipping cream and I always let him lick the beaters, I remember enjoying that when I was a child. I also thought I would feature a picture of David in his duck house coat. He loves it and he loves the matching slippers too.
He hasn't been sleeping well the last few nights. One night I think he was having night terrors which I also had as a child but I am not sure what is causing it the rest of the time. Jonathan and I are both really tired as a result of it. I am tired of blaming it on teething though he is still working on his molars. He isn't talking much more but continues to surprise us once and a while. The other day he was watching tv and I asked him if he wanted some plum and he said "I'll see." CUTE!

Last night I sent in our testimony for the NILMDTS website. Once it is reviewed it will be added to their site.

When we were 21 weeks pregnant with Noah we discovered through amnio that he had an extra 13th chromosome and that he was not expected to survive the rest of our pregnancy, or long after birth. I cannot explain in words the grief we faced in the weeks and months that followed. We didn't know if we would get to meet our beloved son before he left this world. A friend heard our sad news and told us about NILMDTS. We contacted our photographer Jane who suggested we take some pregnancy pictures to capture moments when our son was still with us. Having these memories helped comfort us during the uncertain days ahead. February 8th, 2008 Noah arrived and Jane was there to capture our first hours with him. He surprised the doctors with his health and we cherished 28 beautiful days with him before he left for Heaven. Though we wish everyday that he was still in our arms we are so thankful for the many pictures of our sweet baby boy that we have to cherish until we meet him again.

Happy Engagement

On this day three years ago this young man decided to 'pop the question' to this lovely young women. Looking forward to celebrating three married years together in October. Here is one of our Engagement pictures taken at Mill Lake, April 2005.

A Day in the Life...

Absolutely Needed

Friday I went to the Absolute Spa with Mom and Lauren to celebrate all of our birthdays (Thanks Mom and Dad). I had a manicure and the Hawaiian Lomi Lomi Massage. I was looking forward to the massage but didn't know how tense I was until she started. My muscles are all very stressed. I didn't realize how much emotional stress also affects us physically. I think Jonathan and I are going to try to go for another massage soon. It was really nice to be able to completely relax for a few hours.

We are all Canucks!

Last night Jonathan and I went to the Canucks game. We were hoping they would still be in the running for the playoffs but we were still happy to be going to a game. If you watched the game last night (and even if you didn't) you know how bad we lost (6-1). That part wasn't so great but what was really neat was it is rumoured to be Trevor Linden's last game. Whether this is the case or not the fans gave him tremendous support including several standing ovations with enthusiastic applause. There were lots of Linden jerseys on the backs of fans and various signs of love, support and encouragement. I don't watch many games throughout regular season but I do remember watching Trevor Linden and the Canucks in the playoffs when I was in grade 5 and I know he was a Canuck even before that. Last night was fan appreciation night and both Jonathan and I were hoping to win his jersey. We didn't end up winning anything but we were glad to be part of the 215th consecutive sell out. Let's look forward to next years season and hopefully play offs.


Here is our big boy David in his big boy bed. We had to take down his crib in the middle of March and I have been meaning to post pics of him in his new bed for a while. These pics were taken during his nap on Friday while he was cuddled up with Backyardigan Tyrone. Lately he has been full of kisses and this morning after kissing Jonathan and I while we were still in bed he brought me cherios. My first breakfast in bed... so cute! He likes to share... even when we don't want him too and gets quite upset if we don't take what he is offering. We are just waiting for him to start saying "Why?"... he is currently saying "What is it?" a lot!

Dear Noah,

It has been four weeks since we said good-bye. I know it wasn't easy for you either. You fought to catch one more breath, and one more again so that we could hold you longer. Thank you for being so brave. Somehow we found the strength to say "it's okay" instead of "Noah, please breath!" We knew you were only fighting for us and that it was your time to leave your Mama and Daddy and go home to your Father. Though only a Babe I think you knew just as we did that it was time.

The "Why's" and "What if's" still plague us in our sadness. We can't help missing you, you are part of us. Each morning we wake up and each day we put one foot in front of the other just as you would want us to... just as we would have wanted you to if it would have been our time not yours. My arms ach for you... my eyes tear and my heart continues to break.

If you are a grown man when we get to Heaven will you mind if we rock you? Will you say "It's okay Mama... you're home now... I've been waiting for you." That seems like so far away. We are sending you our love, our hugs, and our kisses everyday. We miss taking care of you... our sweet baby boy.

I am trying more and more to smile as I remember you rather then cry. I remember taking you to the doctor when you were 5 days old. You sucked on my finger while they checked your heart. Then we went for lunch at the cafeteria your daddy and me. I carried you proudly in my arms and everyone around asked how old you were and said you were adorable. You made us so happy during your time here on earth, while you were in my belly and especially once you were in my arms. Every tear we cry is worth the joy you have given us. So if you can see me from Heaven and you are saying "Don't cry Mama" know that my tears are only wishes that you were still here. I'll love you forever.

Close to My Heart

For Noah's birth and for my birthday Jonathan bought me this locket and chain. While I was on the Island he made the pictures for me to put in the locket and today I cut them out and put them in. Now I can carry Noah's pictures with me close to my heart. Thank you Jonathan! Here are the pictures I have chosen...

Island Adventure

This weekend David and I traveled to the Island to spend time with family. While we were there we celebrated my grandma's 70th Birthday. Also wished my Dad a Happy Birthday.

Here we are, 4 generations... all March babies except for David.
We went out for dinner with my dad, sister, grandma, aunts, uncle and cousin.
David played with Auntie Mandy's light saber and decorated grandma Evelyn and grandpa Brent's Birthday envelopes.

At Nana and Papa's David slept in (sort of) his new Backyardigans blow-up toddler bed. When we arrived at my mom's he went to the sliding glass door and said "doggie"... remembering Bear from our last visit in November. Unfortunately Bear had to be put down this winter because his health was failing but I couldn't believe David remembered. Our smart little man is surprising us with new words daily.We got home yesterday afternoon and David was fast asleep... tuckered out from the ferry ride. He played with all the kids on the boat and even shared some of his toys. We had a great time visiting family but we were definitely glad to be back home with Daddy.

Noah's Ashes

Today Jonathan went to the funeral home to pick up Noah's ashes. This is another difficult day for us. Before Jon left we wrote Noah a message to put in his box along with a ribbon and a peddle from one of his roses. It is comforting knowing that his ashes will be kept in a special box made with love by Papa.
Noah,

We know you are safe and warm in Heaven still the thought of your ashes being all that is left of your beautiful, tiny body is very difficult. Your body is what held your Spirit while you were on earth and though it was your body we cuddled and kissed while you were with us it is your Spirit we love. Missing you lots.

Love you forever, Daddy, Mama & David

Spring Walk

Yesterday we went to Mill Lake with Nana and Opa before enjoying a nice Easter dinner prepared by Oma. Grandpa Rob came for dinner too and we all had a nice time. We are so glad that Spring is here. Today we went to visit Daddy at work as David hasn't been to the new store yet. While we were out Nana bought "Tasha" for David and now he has the whole backyardigans family.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! David had his first Easter egg hunt this morning. Daddy didn't have to work today so we thought it was a good day for the Easter Bunny to come. The Easter Bunny hid twelve eggs (each containing one fruit snack) and David found them all with very little help. We wanted to catch it on video but realized too late that the battery needs to be charged so we just took a bunch of pictures. Very cute though. He would find an egg, get all excited and then shake it to make sure there was something inside. He has eaten 6 fruit snacks already and I thought that was enough so we may re-hid the other six again later for more fun. Jonathan is out at his first outdoor soccer practise for the year. He has indoor practise on Thursdays and will try to work later on Saturdays so that he can make most of the outdoor practises Saturday mornings. I am looking forward to watching some more of his games this year, something David will enjoy too (when the aren't too late at night).

Six Weeks

To everything

there is a

season and

a purpose.

Today Noah would have been six weeks old. We are still enjoying some of the roses from his memorial. I wanted to share some pictures we took as they were opening up. They are beautiful! Many of them have two centers and this one had three... just lovely!I haven't wanted to share much of my journey lately and I know that isn't like me. I enjoy writing and even when times are sad I find it healing but lately I don't want to share. I find it hard to get out of the house and though I appreciate everyones concern I don't want to hear "how are you doing?" We appreciate all of the flowers, thoughts, prayers, and kind things people are doing for us but none of it will bring Noah back and that is our difficult reality.
"As Jesus was walking along he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 'Rabbi,' his disciples asked him, 'why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents sins?' 'It was not because of his sins or his parents sins,' Jesus answered. 'This happened so the power of God could be seen in him (John 9:1-2)."
"...For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike (Matthew 5:45)."

Bring the Rain - MercyMe

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory
And I know there will be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

[1st Chorus]
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
Is the lord God almighty
Is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
[2nd Chorus 2x]
Everybody singing
Holy, holy, holy
You are holy
You are holy
[2nd Chorus 2x]

Precious Memories

In some ways the more days that go by the harder it gets. Every day that goes by is another day that we haven't been able to hold, kiss or care for Noah. We still sleep with his clothes under our pillows and hold them close when we can't sleep. I wish we would have made more memories but I am thankful for the ones we have. Sometimes it helps to watch our video's of Noah so I thought I would share one with you.