Monday, July 16, 2018

June 2018

     I am trying something new... monthly blog updates as a response to update requests from family and friends. I do enjoy writing and keeping a record of memorable moments and milestones so I am going to attempt to do this on the last day of each month (even though this is being posted half way through July).
     June was a full month like all the months seem to be at this stage in our journey. Angeline, Samara and Rebekah wrapped up their homeschool year on June 8th so we have already been in summer mode for quite some time. They are now ready to head into grades 4, 3 and 1 and we are looking forward to another year of homeschooling beginning in September. Grade 4 may possibly be Angeline's last year Homeschooling as we are planning to apply for her to enroll in late 
Entry  French Immersion for her Grade 5 year. I will be booking Rebekah's kindergarten Grad pictures soon... a tradition we have enjoyed with her 3 older siblings. I know the day will come all too soon when each of their kindergarten grad pic adorn my wall along with their High School graduation pictures. We are too often reminded how quickly children grow into young adults. I certainly do want them to grow into adults but somewhere amongst the chaos I want to take the time to enjoy these precious years while their laughter fills the walls of our home.
     David's last day of Grade 6 was also his last day being 11. (Happy Birthday!) If you follow us on facebook you may have already read my boastings of his scholarly accomplishments... but as any proud Mama should I will gladly boast again that he is exceeding expectations in most subjects. Most of all I am proud of how well he handles such a transitionary year living in a new town, making new friends, starting public school, learning a new language and all the challenged that come along with being in grade 6.
     Mid month Naomi hit her 1/2 Birthday and is now 18 months. I may post official 18 month pictures at a later date or in my July update but for now I will include a more candid shot. Naomi LOVES her soother and so we are not surprised that her vocabulary seems a bit slow to start. She can say a handful of words and names several of her siblings but as the month progressed she has started to use words more frequently and gets praised for using words rather than grunts and pointing... however cute it may be. Some words include "Dad, Mom, Wow, Mara, Apple, Up, Uh-Huh, Oh-Oh."
     Joshua continues to astound us with his vocabulary. We love the new words he adds weekly and uses in context. He adores his siblings and his special role as big brother to "Nomi." He enjoys our family hikes and playing outdoors. He longs for the day he can ride a petal bike but in the mean time does his best to keep up on his run bike. 
      Our family pet, Onyx is now 10 months old. She is a Blue Healer Cross and weighs about 145 lbs. Just this last month she became even more vocal. She sounds like a big dog when she barks. She likes to while and growl to communicate her wants, likes and dislikes. She has recently begun to realize that she needs to "ask" for people food if it has been left within her grasp by one of the littles. She will sit starring at it until Jon or I notice... and if we don't notice she will likely whine a "please." She is smart, affectionate, obedient (for the most part) and great with the kids. We love her to bits.
      We squeezed a lot of fun... some of the extra special highlights include our 3rd annual camping trip to Rathtrevor with Nana and Papa... this time my cousin Rene joined us with his 2 youngest, Pearl and William. 1st time Mini Golfing ever for our middle 4 in Parksville. A visit from our Sunshine Coast friends, the Poons. Camp Bob Open House (near Campbell River)... and Water Park time at Roger Creek.
   We tried a few new recipes this month that are worth noting. I was able to use the mini cheesecake pans I got for my birthday and made oreo cheesecakes... the best part was the chocolate whipping cream on top! I can't believe I have lived 35 years and never thought to add cocoa powder to my whipping cream. We also made Nanaimo Bar cupcakes which were really tasty!
     Now that it's mid July I need to start working on my July update that I am hoping to Post August first. I hope that your summers are just as filled with adventure and time spent with loved ones.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

10 years ago...

I don't write as often as I used to but today I wanted to take a few moments and write down some of my thoughts and reflections. It has been 10 years since the single most difficult day of my life, the day my son died in my arms. The day I handed his small, lifeless body over to a stranger, knowing I would never hold him again.
It's not a day for cake. It's a day for tears. It's a day that I feel very alone no mater how many people surround me.
A lot has changed in the last decade. When Noah died I was almost 25 years old. I had been married for 2 years. I was really just figuring out being a grown up, a wife and a mom. I was trying so hard to get it right. To handle it well. Sometimes it all felt like a bad dream... like it wasn't really happening.
Ten years later I can tell you it really happened. I don't need to be pinched. His pictures hang on my wall and on a day like today I can almost feel his softness, smell his baby smell and hear his little sounds. But more than that I can almost see him standing next to his big brother David. As much as I want my son back for me, sometimes I wish David could have his brother back more.
Even though no good comes from the what if's and if only's, a lot of good has come from the time we shared together and from the ten years that have passed. A lot of grieving, crying, sadness and a lot more love, perspective, and thankfulness.
So even though it goes without saying, I miss my son. I wish he was here. I still grieve my loss and I always will.
And when Naomi is teething and wakes up more times than I can count Noah is here reminding me to be thankful for the middle of the night moments to comfort her. And when Joshua gets away with something in his cute 3 year old way it's because I waited years wondering if I would have another son to love. And it's why as a family when we can chose TIME  with each other over anything else in this world and we MAKE MEMORIES.
So thank you Noah for the memories. The movements and kicks when I was growing you in my tummy. Your first cry, loud and strong as you were born into this world. And the 28 days we held you, fed you and loved you on this earth. And thank you for the last 10 years that even when you couldn't be physically present in our family you are still so much a part of the way we live and the way we love.