Monday, March 31, 2008

Island Adventure

This weekend David and I traveled to the Island to spend time with family. While we were there we celebrated my grandma's 70th Birthday. Also wished my Dad a Happy Birthday.

Here we are, 4 generations... all March babies except for David.
We went out for dinner with my dad, sister, grandma, aunts, uncle and cousin.
David played with Auntie Mandy's light saber and decorated grandma Evelyn and grandpa Brent's Birthday envelopes.

At Nana and Papa's David slept in (sort of) his new Backyardigans blow-up toddler bed. When we arrived at my mom's he went to the sliding glass door and said "doggie"... remembering Bear from our last visit in November. Unfortunately Bear had to be put down this winter because his health was failing but I couldn't believe David remembered. Our smart little man is surprising us with new words daily.We got home yesterday afternoon and David was fast asleep... tuckered out from the ferry ride. He played with all the kids on the boat and even shared some of his toys. We had a great time visiting family but we were definitely glad to be back home with Daddy.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Noah's Ashes

Today Jonathan went to the funeral home to pick up Noah's ashes. This is another difficult day for us. Before Jon left we wrote Noah a message to put in his box along with a ribbon and a peddle from one of his roses. It is comforting knowing that his ashes will be kept in a special box made with love by Papa.
We know you are safe and warm in Heaven still the thought of your ashes being all that is left of your beautiful, tiny body is very difficult. Your body is what held your Spirit while you were on earth and though it was your body we cuddled and kissed while you were with us it is your Spirit we love. Missing you lots.
Love you forever, Daddy, Mama & David

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Spring Walk

Yesterday we went to Mill Lake with Nana and Opa before enjoying a nice Easter dinner prepared by Oma. Grandpa Rob came for dinner too and we all had a nice time. We are so glad that Spring is here. Today we went to visit Daddy at work as David hasn't been to the new store yet. While we were out Nana bought "Tasha" for David and now he has the whole backyardigans family.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! David had his first Easter egg hunt this morning. Daddy didn't have to work today so we thought it was a good day for the Easter Bunny to come. The Easter Bunny hid twelve eggs (each containing one fruit snack) and David found them all with very little help. We wanted to catch it on video but realized too late that the battery needs to be charged so we just took a bunch of pictures. Very cute though. He would find an egg, get all excited and then shake it to make sure there was something inside. He has eaten 6 fruit snacks already and I thought that was enough so we may re-hid the other six again later for more fun. Jonathan is out at his first outdoor soccer practise for the year. He has indoor practise on Thursdays and will try to work later on Saturdays so that he can make most of the outdoor practises Saturday mornings. I am looking forward to watching some more of his games this year, something David will enjoy too (when the aren't too late at night).

Friday, March 21, 2008

Six Weeks

To everything
there is a
season and
a purpose.

Today Noah would have been six weeks old. We are still enjoying some of the roses from his memorial. I wanted to share some pictures we took as they were opening up. They are beautiful! Many of them have two centers and this one had three... just lovely!I haven't wanted to share much of my journey lately and I know that isn't like me. I enjoy writing and even when times are sad I find it healing but lately I don't want to share. I find it hard to get out of the house and though I appreciate everyones concern I don't want to hear "how are you doing?" We appreciate all of the flowers, thoughts, prayers, and kind things people are doing for us but none of it will bring Noah back and that is our difficult reality.
"As Jesus was walking along he saw a man who had been blind from birth. 'Rabbi,' his disciples asked him, 'why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents sins?' 'It was not because of his sins or his parents sins,' Jesus answered. 'This happened so the power of God could be seen in him (John 9:1-2)."
"...For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike (Matthew 5:45)."

Bring the Rain - MercyMe

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory
And I know there will be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

[1st Chorus]
Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
Is the lord God almighty
Is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
[2nd Chorus 2x]
Everybody singing
Holy, holy, holy
You are holy
You are holy
[2nd Chorus 2x]

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Precious Memories

In some ways the more days that go by the harder it gets. Every day that goes by is another day that we haven't been able to hold, kiss or care for Noah. We still sleep with his clothes under our pillows and hold them close when we can't sleep. I wish we would have made more memories but I am thankful for the ones we have. Sometimes it helps to watch our video's of Noah so I thought I would share one with you.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Big Brother, Big Boy!

This backyardigans guitar is one of his newest toys. We have been having fun with it too. David is bringing us lots of smiles and I am so thankful to have him. Without him things would be even more difficult then they currently are. Jonathan went back to work yesterday even though we weren't ready. We just haven't had enough time to let things sink in, adjust, and begin to heal. Life tends to feel like a big dream (not a nice dream) but one that we are waiting to wake up from and have Noah back with us.
Believe it or not this table is out "computer chair" since our computer sits on Jonathan's dresser. David has taken to playing under it while mommy blogs and checks her e-mail. He has grown a lot in the last month. He partly seems bigger because Noah was so little and he's also been growing into the roll of a big brother. He is using more words and talking more in general. Mainly he says "No" and "Oh, Oh!" but he is also making little sentences like "more juice", "I do it"and "what is it?" This makes discovering what he wants much easier... it is also just very cute.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Poem Writen by Aunty Myrna

Dear Mom and Dad,

I was conceived out of your love
God sent me down from up above
A brother for David, your son
Who was your firstborn, perfect one

The doctors said I was not right
That many problems lay in sight
But you knew I was God's creation
You let me Live, thus my salvation

Your waiting time was agony
What lay ahead, how would I be?
You chose to carry me to term
My right to live you guarded firm

And knowing that you wanted me
Was what made me survive, you see
I came to visit you a while
I felt your love and saw your smiles

Be not sad that I am gone
For I am perfect with our Holy One
My time was short, but I felt your love
Now I watch you from above

Love Noah

Monday, March 10, 2008

Our Words from Today

Today we celebrate the life of our sweet sweet baby Noah. Noah was here with us only for a short time but in that time we have known so much love and he has touched so many hearts.
Noah, today we bring you 28 white roses in remembrance of the 28 beautiful days you gave us. We love you Baby.

Holding You Close

Holding you close for your first breath
So thankful to hear your first squawk
Overjoyed you have come to meet us
Twelve fingers, twelve toes
So much of you to love
Mama’s curls and Daddy’s blue eyes
Wrap you up tight
But leave your arms out the way you like it

Holding you close in a cuddle
Taking our miracle home
More proud then two parents could be
Kissing your sweet smiles
The sparkle in your eyes fills our hearts
You’ve brought us so much love
Wrap you up tight
But leave your arms out the way you like it

Holding you close for your last breath
My tears washing your brown hair
Kissing you softly over and over
Singing one last lullaby
Holding your hands until you let go
Time to say good, ‘till we see you again
Wrap you up tight
But leave your arms out the way you like it

Poem by Melissa Neufeld

From Mama & Daddy
Noah has truly been our gift from God and we are honored that we were chosen to be his parents. We often use “bundle of joy” to describe a baby and that is exactly what Noah was to us. He was JOY wrapped up tight in a soft blanket. We shared so many wonderful moments with our son and have made beautiful memories which will fill our hearts forever. Some of our favorite times were spent singing him lullaby’s, rocking him softly, kissing his head, smelling his hair, seeing him turn to the sound of our voices, looking into his eyes as he stared back up at us, and cuddling him close all night long every night of his life.
We now have a fuller understanding of the phrase "bitter sweet." Sweet because we know that Noah is with our heavenly Father, bitter because we miss him so much and wish we could still hold him. We can't begin to describe what Noah's life has meant to us or the heartache we feel at the loss of our baby boy.
Though Noah was here only a short time he has touched so many hearts. His only words were coo's and squawk's but his life has spoken volumes. Even before we heard his first cry we knew God had performed a miracle. God's miracles didn't stop with Noah's first breath, they continued as he exceeded medical odds, surpassed statistics, and enjoyed four weeks of complete health.
After Noah was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 our hopes for our baby changed. We hoped we would be able to meet him before he went to heaven, we hoped he wouldn't need to be hooked up to oxygen or feeding tubes, and we hoped most of all that he wouldn't know sickness, pain, or suffering when it was time for God to take him home. All of these hopes we prayed and all of our prayers were answered.

Each night we prayed for one more day with Noah and God answered our prayers for four amazing weeks. Though we did not know it at the time Thursday was Noah’s last day with us. Letting go was the most difficult thing we have ever had to do but we knew God was calling him home to heaven. We are very thankful for the gift of Noah's Life. We love him so much and miss him so deeply. We will cherish him in our hearts forever and look forward to one day being with him in heaven, though we would always have asked for one more day.

Today we had a celebration in remembrance of Noah and the 28 beautiful days we spent together. I just wanted to post our words from today for those who were not able to attend or for anyone who would like to read them again. His celebration also consisted of 2 slide shows and four beautiful songs as well as a prayer from Grandpa Rob and message from pastor Frank. Thank you so much to everyone who celebrated with us and to all those who continue to share in our sadness. Special thanks to everyone who participated today whether in the ceremony or with preparations. Big thanks to everyone who have made donations in honor and memory of Noah's life. And most of all thanks to everyone for your prayers and support. It has been special for us to read through your cards and admire the flowers that have been sent... they remind us you are keeping us in your thoughts.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Celebrating Noah

We will be celebrating Noah's Life

Monday, March 10th, 2008
Two Oclock
Bethany Baptist Church
22680 Westminster Hwy
Richmond, British Columbia
There will be refreshments following the service.

If you wish to make a donation in honor of Noah
please consider
Canucks Place
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Our Angel's In Heaven

Noah Jonathan Neufeld

February 8 - March 6, 2008

We love you Noah!

Canucks Place

Last night Noah had his first "episode" where he stoped breathing. It didn't last long but it was enough to scare Grandpa Rob (who was holding him) and everyone else as well. Until yesterday life with Noah was very much the same as life with any newborn baby. He loves being held, is very attentive... looking for sounds and voices when he hears them and is just in general a healthy, loving little guy.

Yesterday our world was shaken knowing our little boy has begun to experience symptoms. We had an appointment with Noah's pediatrician today and it went well. He weighs 7lbs 6oz.

I had begun writing the above when Noah had another episode. Before I could finish and post we were in a rush to pack and take him to Canucks Place where they could help us with his breathing. We were intending to go tomorrow but it became urgent and so off we went. I have a link on our blog for Canucks Place for anyone who would like to know more... today was their annual telethon.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

He's My Brother

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother -Written by B. Scott and B. Russell
The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother...

Some of you recognise this song from the 70's... some of you recognise it from the 80's when it played during an anti-drug campaign commercial (that's probably where I first heard it). Read through the lyrics, it's a beautiful song.
During my pregnancy I wondered if I was having a boy or a girl. I wanted a little girl so that I had one of each and I wanted a little boy so that David and his brother would be close in age like my dad and his brother (my Uncle Ches). I hoped like any mother hopes that they would be best friends.
We found out Noah was a boy shortly after they told us our baby was very sick, not likely to survive. After receiving the details of Noah's suspected diagnosis I began to grieve for my baby boy. I also became immensely worried of what we would do should our baby boy survive. How would we take care of him? What would it mean for David? The first few days after we first heard the words "trisomy 13" two questions repeated in my mind.
1. What will I do if he doesn't make it?
2. What will I do if he does?
I was very ashamed that it was the second of the two questions that plagued me most.
Taking a picture of my two sons today and wondering again how we will all be touched by Noah's life this song came to my mind and I know you can apply the words to all of us who love Noah...
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my grandson
He ain't heavy, he's my nephew
He ain't heavy, he's my baby

Look Alike?

I have been telling everyone how much Noah looks like me but I haven't been able to find my new born picture so my mom e-mailed it to me and here it is. Keeping in mind that he has Jonathan's nose and he weighed 1 1/2 lbs more then me at birth here is a comparison. I couldn't find a picture that I thought really matched but just from looking at him he reminds me of me. This is nice since everyone is always commenting on how much David looks like Jonathan. One things for sure... David has my brown eyes (I know they aren't that dark anymore but they were when I was his age) and Noah has Jonathan's blue eyes!