Time is a strange thing. When we feel different emotions it seems to either pass by more slowly or more quickly... usually the opposite of what we would like. When we first learned that our baby boy was very sick and that he isn't expected to live, time almost stopped and I wondered countless times how I can manage the next four months of my pregnancy (should I carry to term).
Almost 3 weeks have passed and I am beginning to realize that time is a good thing. We have had time to learn more about Trisomy 13.
Time to accept that we may not have much time with our little boy.
Time to come to terms with things as a family.
Time is helping us to prepare.
But mostly I am thankful for time because it is helping me learn how to love. When we first found out that baby was very sick I couldn't help but try to distance myself and prepare for the worst. More and more as I am processing everything... recovering from the shock... and beginning to heal... I am learning to love.
I am thankful for each day that I have left in my pregnancy and I will love him through every moment we have in this special bond we share. I am thankful for any and every moment God gives us with our son before He takes him home and I will love him every minute, every hour and every day that we have with him for however long we are given. And when the time comes for him to go to heaven I will love him every moment of the rest of my life.
3 comments:
Thank you Melissa for your insights into what you are going through. You make me cry, you make me think and you make me appreciate. You are an amazing person and it is so touching to see how you are growing through this.
Hey Melissa, Thank you for your words. They are evidence of prays answered. I knew you struggled with these feelings and I have prayed that the Lord would change your heart. He has and I am once again reminded of His amazing love and grace. Keep trusting Melissa. God is doing a marvelous work and will continue to. i Love you all. A. Heather
Hey Melissa. I wanted to let you know, you guys are in my thought's and prayers everyday. I can't imagine going through this but you are definatly right everything happens for a reason. I cry every day for you. You have really made me appreciate Cameron more then ever. Just know that we are here for you if you ever need us. You are both amazing parents to David, just hold on to that and how ever long you have with Noah (perfect name by the way) charish that as I know you are. Gob blesses us in many ways. I Love you guys much.
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