What about myself? This last week I have felt more like MYSELF then I have in a long time. Probably more then I have in the last 2 years. I didn't really feel not like myself most of the time but now I just feel so much more like myself that it makes me realize how much I didn't feel like myself before (confused?). I realize that it is normal not to feel like yourself when you are pregnant and I have spent 114 weeks pregnant over the last 3 1/2 years that we have been married so that has to account for some of it. And learning to live without Noah has to do with another big part. When Noah died I had this awful feeling inside that I would never be the same again... that I would never be "normal" again (that's the best I can describe it). Of coarse I will never be the same again but I am back to myself, back to my normal. I also feel like loosing a child no longer takes me out of the "normal" category. Most people wont outlive their children... and most children will not leave this world before they are adults (thankfully) but getting to know parents who have lost children has helped me to know that there are other people who feel how I feel, think how I think, grieve how I grieve, love how I love and live how I live. Passing the first year anniversary since Noah died doesn't magically cure us, and it doesn't make us miss him any less but we are all feeling more like ourselves again. We are also really looking forward to moving into our first house.
These flowers are from Jonathan... for no reason. I think he is just happy to have his wife back! (and happy to see me in a pair of jeans that are not maternity!)
6 comments:
Glad to hear you are feeling more like yourself and continuing the process of healing :) You look great for just having a baby!! :) Beautiful flowers... good job Jonny!
The picture of you with Angeline in the baby sling is gorgeous. Many Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights. Know that we are always thinking of you and remembering Noah.
Miss you all so much.
Uncle Jared and Katherine
Your looking great! Angeline looks very cozy in the sling.
Christina
Congratulations, Neufelds :)
It's a milestone, I think, especially having experienced all you guys have gone through.
Your newest addition is so beautiful. I look forward to meeting her. Amazing how love multiplies, eh?
I am so happy to hear as well see (especially in that beautiful picture) that you are feeling more like your normal self these days Meliss. Jon and yourself have defiantly jumped over some big stones in your life but always remember that I am here for you if you ever and I really mean ever Meliss need anything because although I can't know exactly how you feel with the loss of precious Noah I can feel for you.
Jon and yourself are amazing friends and Noah has touched my life in more ways then you probably know, he really taught me to really treasure life. I mean I always felt like life was a precious gift from god but never really looked at life how I exactly look at it now and for that I will always be thankful.
You really look amazing in that shot with Angeline, kind of like a weight has been lifted off you. I know nothing will ever replace Noah and Noah will always have a place in your heart but I believe Angeline was sent here to help you heal. YOU defiantly are back to your self meliss and that day I met Angeline I could tell you were more like the Meliss I new before babies a beautiful person inside and out. I love you Meliss and I am really glad you are healing.
Love, Sheena.
Melissa
I am happy you are feeling good...I noticed you being more like yourself when I came to visit. It was so nice to spend some time with you and your family.
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