Tomorrow marks the 8th week since we first discovered there were serious complications with Noah's health. We were told that same day it was likely trisomy 13 or 18 and the results were confirmed only 2 days later.
Today marks the 29th week of my pregnancy with Noah. This means I potentially have 11 weeks left. Time is passing so differently now and lately I have really been wrestling with the uncertainties ahead of me.
Knowing that we have come so far in the last 8 weeks from the first day we found out encourages me that the next 11 weeks (should we go that far) can continue to be weeks of growth. We have mamaged 8 weeks, surely we can survive another 11... almost half way to our due date. But the uncertainties seem to be catching up to me.
I have begun preparing for when I go into labour since it could be any day. I have a few things packed for Noah, though I don't have anything that would fit him at his current weight (almost 3lbs). I am getting my lists ready... who to call... what to do... what to bring. Starting to read about labour and getting back into that mindset. How do I prepare when it could be any minute or not until the beginning of March?
More than the timing of his arrival are the questions that remain about his health and the length of time we have with him. How can I prepare at the same time for the death of my son and/or caring for a baby with special needs? Do I pack away my baby things or get them ready? No one can answer these questions for me. No statistics have answers. Each case is so individual.
I know I need to be thankful for each day I have and when Noah greets me each day with his morning kicks I smile and am thankful that he made it through another night. Sometimes (like now) it is just really difficult to maintain that as my focus.
5 comments:
Hello, I can't remember if I've already posted to your blog. but wanted to let you know you are not alone,
There are many on this journey and many support sites where you can visit with families who who've experienced this unique diagnosis.
I'm available to answer any questions you might have, also the "Living with trisomy 13" site has Prenatal support page with a wonderful "DON"T MISS" section.
Please do yourself a favor and contact NILMDTS as they do complimentary photography for our very special kids and families.
Please call if I can be of any support, you can reach me off the LWT13 site..contact addy.
http://www.livingwithtrisomy13.org
Blessings,
ThereseAnn mom to Natalia full t13, 7 yrs.
thanks for sharing melissa. we are praying for you guys always!
from helga: " I read Melissa’s blog. My heart goes out to her. She is a remarkable young woman and I am so honored to call her my friend. I am proud of her as to how she is handling this situation. I only hope and pray that my son will one day have a beautiful wife like Jonathan has. "
thought i'd share this comment with you, remember you are not alone during this difficult time. we stand with you both, love mom
Hi Melissa and Jon;
just to let you know I just stopped by the blog to read your updates. I'm glad you rec'd your DVD of maternity images, which I was so hoping you'd get in time for Christmas day; I thought it would be special to have them while Noah's still tucked up tight inside you.
I know you are having a tough time right now. My heart goes out to you.
Jane and team
Jane Photo
Melissa,
I am so sorry that you and Jonathan have to go throught this. It's difficult not knowing what's ahead, and I know it's getting more difficult as Noah's birth is getting closer. It's easier to deal with when you think you have more time. I know you can do this. Keep your bags packed and your family and friends close, just in case. I am so glad that he is moving lots so you can enjoy him in your belly. It was my favourite part of having kids. I hope he does well, I want to visit him soon after he's born, just like David. Love Aunty Linda
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